Games That I Hate Teaching

One downside to complicated Euro style games is that it's hard to learn the rules.  I know this turns off a lot of people to them, but it is totally worth it.

Still, some games just take forever to learn, and trying to teach them to other people in a clear way without forgetting anything (man, they really get mad when you forget something) is a really intensive process.

No one hates learning rules more than our good friend Mozzie the bear.  Here is a list he and I have compiled of "Games I Hate to Teach."  He was kind enough to pose for all the pictures:

1. Terra Mystica

Terra Mystica rules come pretty easy to people who had played a lot of heavy euros.  But there is a lot going on, and bringing newer players in can take a while.  I taught this to my gaming friends in probably under 15 minutes, but at a boardgame meetup we went to it took a whole hour to teach to a less euro-centered player.  So not the worst game to teach but definitely a lot of stuff and symbology to go through.

2. The Great Zimbabwe

The Great Zimbabwe is a great game by Splotter Spellen.  They are known for incredibly complex games printed in small print runs that cost about $120 per game.  The Great Zimbabwe is actually one of their simpler ones, I feel. But it is the only one I own and still very complicated.

This game is the definition of fiddly.  Trying to remember what needs to be shipped where and how far it can be shipped and wait do diagonals count and what's a hub and does your hub count as my hub and what are we doing?!

It's actually not bad once you learn the rules, but teaching is tough.  And I couldn't play this right now without reading the manual a few times again.

3. ZhanGuo

Played ZhanGuo not too long ago.  It was really really good.  The rules aren't actually that tough either, but the rulebook is pretty disorganized, which isn't surprising as there does not seem to be a logical streamlined way to glide through teaching this one.  You just got to plug and chug and this rule and that rule and this thing and that thing.  Took an hour to teach it.  Worth it, but still...

4.  Luna

Luna's rules aren't even hard.  But there are something like 14 different actions you can take!  And each one comes with it's own little set of details!  And there's a supposedly handy guide to all the actions, but you have to interpret all that symbology, which isn't clear the first time you play.
Did I mention 14 DIFFERENT ACTIONS!  And some of them are similar and I can remember how the boat action is different from the wave action.  Ever.

5.  Asgard  

Ugggh.  Asgard...  I saw this for $18 on amazon, read somes reviews and thought "Hey this seems pretty heavy and interesting and the theme is pretty cool and it's sooo cheap.  Why not?."  The idea and mechanics are quite interesting, but none of it works as well as I had hoped.  Worst of all, It took forever to set up and forever and a day to teach it. Another poorly organized (and in some cases unclear) rulebook, with lots of little rules to go over. Lots of work to learn a mediocre game.  Not worth it this time.

The Lonely Boardgamer, Episode 1: Luna (Solo)

Things get lonely sometimes for a boardgamer.  Friends move away, and while there are ways to play games online or via Skype (still need to try the latter, by the way), options are limited.  Both because because there aren't many games available online and playing  via webcam doesn't lend itself to games with hidden information or a lot of piece manipulation. 

It makes me sad.  Sometimes it gets so bad that I start hearing voices, though it's usually just my stuffed panda talking to himself so no real worries there.

Sure, there are other things to do.  But you can't play guitar when you've sliced your finger wide open with a surprisingly sharp ceramic knife (seriously, I still can't get over how sharp these things are.  It's a gift and apparently also a curse).  And you can only play Resident Evil 4 on your computer in the dark for so long before you're convinced that there are zombies clawing at your front door and have to stop and turn the lights back on.

Because of these setbacks, I decided to play Luna solo tonight.

Yeah, some board games have solo versions, and they are always welcome.

Moon Priestess.  Lives by the sea.  Has a magic staff.  Dyes her hair white.

Luna is one of Stefan Feld's more thematic games.  It's also been out of print for a while, but I found a reasonably priced copy a while back and snagged it, mostly because out of print games call to me in a very enticing fashion.
In Luna, players control acolytes trying to make their way into positions in the temple while following the beautiful moon priestess around like puppies trying to win her blessings.  Or something like that.

The game comes with a pretty neat board that fits together like a puzzle.

 

The assembled board consists of a central temple area and an outer ring of Holy Isles that your acolytes travel to and from to activate different actions.  The positioning of the islands is random every game, as are the tiles placed in the temple and the starting positions of some of the pieces, adding a bit of random variety to the game on setup.

A Holy Isle.

Acolyte meeples have robes. Or dresses.  Or maybe ghost tails.

I've played this one 2-players a couple of times with some enjoyment.  However, the game instructions also come with a solo variant that I thought I'd give a try.  So here we go:

Step 1 to playing boardgames solo is music choice.  There's no one else at the table to talk to and no one to get distracted by the sound, so blast the music all you want.  Something really heavy, face-melting, awesome ...

She's everywhere to me...

With the mood set, it was time to get into the game.  Solo Luna pits you against an AI who follows a few set rules every turn.  I don't like the idea of playing a faceless opponent though, so I gave it a familiar face...

Mozzie is back with a new hat and a new drink.

Today Mozzie is sporting a thermal beanie, because it's very cold and snowy outside, and a Stone IPA.  I hate IPAs, so he's the only one who will drink them now.  He's also discovered that airline pillows make great seat cushions.

Now back to the game.  On each turn, you use active acolytes to carry out actions.  These consist of a a few options, including moving acolytes from isle to isle, placing them in the temple, picking up action tiles that give you special actions, gaining more acolytes to work with, moving up in position in the temple council, building shrines...you know, just a few options.
Summarized on this super easy to read, not confusing at all player aid:

Once the acolytes are used, they are spent for the turn and apparently have to lie down in the ocean.

Besides the acolytes, there are a few more characters at play.
There's the Master Builder.  If you have a shrine action tile and acolytes on the same space as him, you can build a shrine.  Shrines count as free acolytes for performing some actions, help with area majority on islands, and are worth 4 points a piece at endgame.

You can tell he's a Master because of the beard.

Shrine.

There's the temple guard.  He shows you what temple spaces are available to sit in each round and how many points putting acolytes there is worth.  Placing acolytes in the temple scores a point per at the end of each round, plus an additional amount upon placement depending on the round, with these values diminishing as the game progresses.

Temple Guard

 
There's the apostate.  He whispers sweet nothings into the ears of any acolytes near him, turning them to the dark side and making you lose points.

Severus Snape

When I played this 2-player with my brother, we decided apostate was too hard to say.  So we called him "the prostate."
This then led to 30 straight minutes of prostate related humor.

"The role of the prostate in this game is a bit enlarged."
"Yeah, the prostate really restricts the flow of the game."

We had a million of 'em.

Finally, there is the Moon Priestess herself.  Whoever has a majority of active acolytes on the isle she is on at the end of the turn wins her favor and scores a bunch of points.

Moon priestess.

The three characters move from isle to isle at the end of each turn.  So part of your time is spent running your acolytes away from the prostate and toward the builder and priestess.


So you score points from the Moon Priestess, having shrines, and placing acolytes in the temples.

You also get points by bumping people out of the temple by sitting down next to them with a higher numbered tile.  Unless of course they are protected by a Book of Knowledge, then they are too smart to get kicked out.

And if you don't use all your action tiles, you score a point for each unused one at the end of the game.

Herb tile.  Normally used to revive passed out acolytes.  That's some good herb.

Finally, you score endgame points for your position in the temple council.

The seats get squishier the higher you go.

So in the solo game, the AI does stuff and you try your best to also do stuff and hinder the AI from doing his stuff.  Your final score is the difference between your points and the AI points.
The instructions come with 3 levels of difficulty.  I played at Level 2 because easy level seems lame and Level 3 was brutal last time I attempted this game solo.  Basically, the difficulty levels affect what the AI does and what you are allowed to do, with Level 3 being very restrictive (basically freezing all actions on the island occupied by the prostate with no option to move him.  That makes the game hard).

Here was my stack of points at the end of the game.  There's no point track, so you just stack these things up.

Favor tokens

Final temple status.

At the end of the game, the temple was pretty segregated, with everyone kicked out along the border of conflict.  Our acolytes didn't like each other.

I had more than the AI by a score of 88 to 73, so a score of 15.  I don't know if this is good or not, but the game didn't seem particularly tense so I'm going to say Level 2 is too easy.

Overall, the game is pretty decent with multiple players, and just kinda okay solo.  I'd play it again for something to do, but even with all the action options it just doesn't seem brain-burning enough to be a great solo game.  Maybe at Level 3 I'll have to think a little harder.

It is a really pretty game though with some cool pieces.  So there's that.

Oh, and in the end Mozzie refused to accept defeat.  He even made his own trophy.

New Games on the Block

Despite what your parents told you, new board games do not come from the stork.  That would be ridiculous.  Board games and babies couldn't possibly come from the same place.

No, the answer is not so simple.  The process of picking out, buying and prepping a new board game for play is more complex than that.  Here's how it works.

Step 1: The Board Game Itch

You haven't bought a new game in a while.  You are a collector, always looking to add to your collection.  And there's that empty space on your shelf.  And that paycheck is burning a hole in your pocket.  And you start to develop a little twitch.  And then...and then...!!!!  And then your self control is gone!

 

This is the board game itch. It's like having an army of spiders crawling along your back.  Spiders made of poison ivy.  Poison ivy spiders that eat your money.  But you love them.
And it was meant to be scratched.  Just like a cookie was meant to be nommed.

When it strikes, you need to find a new game to buy.  The place to start looking is boardgamegeek.com.  If you've read my other posts, you'll see several links to this site already, and there will be more to come.  Look at their game list where you can find pretty much every game ever made listed in order of user ratings. The top 100 are a good place to start looking for a new game.  Unless you are like me and have a gaming group that already owns most of those.  But the site is huge, and you can spend hours searching through the game list and forums to find just the right one.

For my latest search, I looked at games by designer.  Our group has been playing a lot of Stefan Feld games lately and enjoying them very much.  I stumbled upon one game that looked intriguing.

Luna:  A game with a moon on the box.

The box was pretty.  I won't go into game details here.  I just wanted to show you the box with the white haired witchy woman with the glowy stick.

So the game looked interesting, the box looked interesting, and the game designer is known for putting out some gems.
But it also appeared to be out of print in the US.

This happens a lot.  Designer board games are only printed in limited quantities.  Sometimes they get reprinted after the first sellout.  Sometimes they don't.  And it's terrifying to think that you will never own a great game because it is not available anywhere.
But sometimes you get lucky and can find that one, single online store that has a couple copies left in stock and is not selling them for ridiculously inflated prices.  So you buy it...

Step 2: Buy another one

Because you are already paying for shipping.  Duh.

I bought this one too, another Feld game that was just published last year.

I like boxes with puppies on the cover.

Step 3:  Wait

Wait for it...

Step 4: Ask and you shall receive

I ordered these games from an online store called Game Surplus.  The information section on their website has this amusing little tidbit:

"we further minimize our shipping costs down by reusing boxes and shipping materials (in clean, good condition ) whenever possible. So, don't be surprised if a box of 'Pop Tarts' shows up at your door."

I got super excited about the pop tarts.  Or something better.
I was actually a little disappointed with the box I got.

Sorry to say it, but this box is boring.

 It's not a bad box.  It is in one piece, made of sturdy cardboard, holds things well, does everything a good little box should do.  Sadly, though, it isn't pop tarts or gopher repellent.
There is some interesting graffiti inside though...

 

 What strange markings...

And inside there were board games and some appreciation!  So I was very happy.

YOU'RE WELCOME!

Needless to say this place is awesome and I will probably order from them again in the future.

Step 5: Punch and Package

In my opinion, the best part of a new game isn't that fresh new cardboard smell.  It's the piece punching.  It's just so much fun! Look...

Pre-punching:

Mid-punch:

Post-punching:

Awww...why's the fun gone?

Wasn't that exciting?!  The answer is yes.  It's the best.
And then you wish you had more games so you could punch more.

And now with all those tasty little cardboard bits, you have to put them somewhere.  It's great when the games come with their own little baggies.

A cacophony of wood and plastic.

Of course, you can trick out your game further with nicer storage options.  And putting card protector sleeves on all cards is a must.  Hey, you just spent $50 on a game.  Protect your investment!

Put the cardies in the sleevies.  And the bits in the boat.

Step 6:  It's Playtime!

Everything is set.  Grab some friends and play!